Couples Communication problems? HEARRT Technique will help
by Sierra Sparks, MFT on 02/11/17Increase your couples communication with HEARRT technique by Sierra.
Step 1 - Hear
Listen to what your partner is saying fully. Be present, make eye contact and watch your body language as they talk. Body language can immediately put the other person into defensiveness.
Step 2- Empathy
Show concern and empathy by softening your voice, reaching a hand out to them, nodding your head. Again, your body language says a lot.
Step 3 - Affirm
Let them know that you know and that you care about how they are hurting.
Step 4 - Repeat
Repeat back what you hear them say.
Step 5 - Talk
Now is your turn to talk about it. What are your feelings and thoughts?
In action:
Step 1 - Hear
*you are just being present
Step 2- Empathy
*eye contact and sit closer
Step 3 - Affirm
*"I hear that you are feeling really hurt by me...
Step 4 - Repeat and Repair
*because I was rude to you earlier. I'm really sorry I hurt you."
Step 5 - Talk
*"I wasn't trying to hurt you but I was upset that you let the dog pee on the carpet."
Then, repeat.
In need of couples or relationship counseling? Call Sierra Family Therapy (530)913-5054
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