Want better Sex? Here is the Secret....

What the heck is that?! I have heard this so many times from my unsuspecting clients who come in for more passion in their relationships, more intimacy, attraction, treatment of impotence, fear and anxieties around sex and more.

The secret? Sensate Focusing

And here is the "How To"

In the first stage, the couple may touch each other's bodies excluding breasts and genitals. My couples are encouraged to enjoy and become increasingly aware of the texture and other qualities of their partner's skin. Intercourse is disallowed! Any focus on the genitals is not allowed. Participants concentrate on what they themselves find interesting in the skin of the other, not on what they think the other may enjoy.

In the second stage I coach couples to increase the touch options to include breasts. Sensation and gathering information about the partner's body is still encouraged and intercourse and touching of the genitals is still forbidden. The participants then use a technique of placing their hand over their partner's hand in order to show what they find pleasurable in terms of pace and pressure. Learning about the partner's body is still the goal rather than pleasure.

Further stages include the gradual introduction of genitals and then full intercourse. Orgasm is never the focus. In fact, I generally discourage this to EVER be a focus.