You dont have to be a "Superhero" to be a "Super Mom"

As a working mom I can relate to the feelings that many moms express and experience of inadequacy. Things like, I don't spend enough time with my kiddo, why do I sometimes feel like I want time away?..is that ok?, I don't want to do that Mommy and Me class - I don't even like yoga!.... but should I? Yikes!

If this is you too, don't fear. Congrats in fact, you are NORMAL. It is rare to be a mother and not experience self-doubt. I mean, seriously, look at how much society puts pressure on us moms. Don't feed your kids sugar and especially no red dye...but they love cupcakes so much, did you know that eating peanuts when pregnant can cause peanut allergies later on...but all I want is to scoop mounds of it in my mouth right now (me when I was pregnant), strange stares when your son refuses to wear his shoes in the store and when you put them back on with insistance he throws them at you and other shoppers and your daughter decides last minute to cake on mommy's brightest blue eye shadow on right before dance class and you realize it just as you're pulling up... 5 minutes late! Sound familiar? These are all a few real life examples from my darling family.

And if it couldn't get any worse, there is the big 'A' word that freaks all moms out and causes late night worried thoughts gone wild... ATTACHMENT. This word I have found to be so scary for the parents I work with - What is it? Does my kiddo have it? What if I mess up?

Ok, first, take a deep breath. The truth is there is no such thing as Supermom. She's a mythical character creating insecurities in moms across the land. She is actually either very, very exhausted or she has hired help. If your judging yourself to another mom who is cooking 200 cookies for the PTA, working 40 hours a week, dressing her clan in stylish and clean outfits, cooking dinner, feeding everyone organic out of her home garden and canning the leftovers and don't forget the morning cross fit classes to stay in shape - PLEASE STOP! This my fellow moms, is unrealistic. And guess what? YOU are still a good parent... probably a great one actually.

 I remember in Graduate School learning about Dr. Winnicott. However, he wasn't really that relevant to me until later. Until I became a parent. Now, he is a savior and I want to share with you all what he taught me and others about parenting:

The concept is GOOD ENOUGH. Dr. Winnecott was a pediatrician and psychoanalyst who in 1953 coined this term after research and interactions with mothers and babies. He states that not only will you fail, but it's ok and...get this... a good thing. That as children grow and develop a mother's failures help the child adapt to being more and more independent and able. It's the love, the caring, the thought that matters most. We will all fail - some of us tiny and some of us big, some of us a lot and some just here and there. In the end, we only need to be good enough and that is it.

So, please stop comparing yourself to the perfect mother, perfect daughter perfect wife, perfect therapist (yes, we do it too) and just BE. Be present, be you, be "good enough" and relax.

Enjoy. xo.